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so drew is in town, and he made a big ole deal about us going to half priced books before he left to go back down to p-town.  so after waiting for like THREE hours, we all walked down there.  

bookis and i were upstairs looking for the next book in the ender’s game series when bookis saw a little slip of paper sticking out of one of the shelves.  he pulled it out and unfolded it.  this is what it said:

Tim’s New Years Resolution for 2008

Treat everyone with more respect.

i like it, tim.  thats the kind of thing that we ALL need to work on.  if we could all have the same outlook that our good friend tim does, then maybe the world would be a better place.  thanx for reminding us what is really important, tim.  i’ll be thinking about you this year, as i try to treat EVERYONE with a little more respect.

the other day the hotbox recieved a piece of mail from bank of america addressed to:

Theater Schmeater
4555 5th Ave NE
Seattle, WA 98105

who the heck is that? and does bank of america really think that’s a real person? i mean, come on. there’s no freakin way someone would name their child that. but then i remembered our dear friend scuba peter (peter richard johnson… you’d think his parents would have figured that one out). this is kind of like when i get a letter addressed to “Hna Duke” from chase visa. oh geez.

morgen and i were just sittin around stalking people on facebook when we came across a picture of our dear friend, sean lawrence. we haven’t seen him in a while, and we were pretty sure that nothing much could have changed. no major physical differences or body modifications, and i guess for the most part we were right. now, we’re not exactly sure what goes on and the changes that can happen to a young man if he spends too much time in rural canada, but now we’ve got a pretty good idea. beer drinking, pocket-exposed jean shorts, and cowboy hats. now we’ve seen it all. so we’d just like to say, DIVERS: we miss you, and we wish you were here with us… cut off daisy-dukes and all.

don’t forget, divers (sean, jake, peter)… hotbox etc. reunion 2012. be there or be an asshole.

so the hotbox hasnt been too crazy lately… no wild parties, no recent seducees, and a pretty consistant use of the usual recreational uppers (if ya know what i mean). anyways, yesterday something new, exciting, and frankly creepy happened here at the ole hox (thats my new nick-name for the house).

on monday evening i came home from work to find marie home alone and confused. she immediately pulled me into the downstairs bathroom, and then her bedroom and the kitchen, to show me the miraculous state of things. the bathroom, for the first time since we’ve lived here was absolutely spotless. i’m talking SPARKLING clean. the hair littered floor was scrubbed, along with the sink and tub. AND… a new roll of toilet paper (i didnt even think we had any) was folded into a nice little triangle.

as for marie’s bedroom… the trash was taken out, the floor swept, and her bed made with blankets that had previously been balled up on the floor. the kitchen was cleaned with obvious differences in the amount of countertop plaque that usually resides in the cracks of the tile. a new roll of paper towels (which im not sure we’ve ever used) was also folded into a nice little triangle like a hotel mini-bar.

the rest of the house was untouched. no other beds made. no floors swept. everything the same, except the things on the coffee table in the living room were lined up nicely and the bubbler was placed upside down on the table, leaving it to soak in a puddle of its own nasty bong spew… i mean, water.

after seeing all this, and checking with the other roommates that they had no hand in this cleaning, we figured (as anyone would) is must have been ghosts. right? i mean, britt was out of town, so we know she didnt clean up. and according to our landlord, he didnt send anyone over to the house to clean.

morgen was later informed by one of our neighbors that they saw at least two maids coming in and out of the house and were here for at least an hour. if you have any information about this cleanly break-in, or the whereabouts of these “maids” please contact us at 1-800-unsolved- mysteries (86765833-697837437).

Hey everybody,
Marie Sullivan, Jessica Brophy and I [plus Urchin (kitty) and Rumi (pup)] are staying at the HOTBOX next year and need three new roomies and one fall sublet! If you are interested email (worstdukeever@gmail.com) or call me 317.640.3854.

Guys/girls and animals are welcome of all races, religions, sexual orientations, gender identities, and any other box you are willing or refusing to put yourself in.
You must be 420 friendly, be accepting of your own and other members’ sexual, intellectual and spiritual freedom and comfortable with members walking around half naked and/or peeing with the door open.
In short we are very open and loving people who know how to have a good time and live harmoniously.
We would also prefer tidy persons or those willing to do their part. We may be verging on hippies but we still enjoy cleanliness.

note – We are drama-free!
The HOTBOX is a utopia so if you enjoy cute little animals, beerpong and a bowl after school/work. Please apply!

Peace and Love,
Hanban

***Courtesy of Marie Sullivan

RIP my baby baby.
its been a rough couple of weeks. my grandmother died and it was hard to deal with and accept… yesterday morning, i woke up in an uncontrollable emotional state and cried for no reason, started my period, and ate food all day. then, i really thought that things were looking up. its pride weekend in seattle and the girls and i were planning on going out to hit on some ladies (hehe). as i was finishing getting ready, grabbing my purse and jacket, slipping on my cute new shoes, brittany called from the bottom of the stairs that i needed to come downstairs. she said someone had come to the door and that there was a problem with slater, my little baby kitty. i walked out the front door and saw her lying on the sidewalk at the bottom of the stairs, motionless. tears filled my eyes and i dropped everything i was carrying and ran down to her. i immediately lost it. i knew right away that she was dead. her little body just lying there like she was sleeping, but i knew. i think i screamed. my knees buckled and my heart literally sank. i actually felt the physical sensation of my heart breaking as i looked down at her soft, kitty body. the girls that had come to the door passionately hugged me and told me how very sorry they were. those poor ladies, unable to know how devastated i would be, were the bearers of the tragic news that topped off a not so wonderful day/month. as they walked away and britt went to get eli, i dropped to the ground and cried like i havent cried in a long time. loud. angry. confused. i couldn’t understand what happened or why. i felt like a child who didn’t understand death or how instantly it can change everything. everyone came outside and we all cried, petting her. i wanted to hold her and kiss her and make her better. i picked her up and cried until her head was soaked by my tears. eli carried her inside, i just couldn’t do it. i called bookis and brandon, who rushed over, and we all sat with her, talking about how unique and amazing she was. jess, eli and i held her in our arms, crying and just wanting her to wake up. i held her one last time, looking at her unclosed eyes that had changed from a beautiful green to completely black, until the pads on her little paws started to get cold and her back legs began to stiffen. a placed her in a box that mere had lined with a blanket and closed the top, sealing it with my tears.

slater was more than just my kitten. she was a huge part of the hotbox family. my daughter. a sister. a friend. i really cannot describe the cat she had become. i’ve never known one like her. loving, kind of crazy, and the best cuddle buddy anyone could ask for. but now i don’t know what to do. what about urchin? she’s lost her sister, and she won’t let me cuddle her. everytime i tried to show slater to her she would run, and then sit at a distance and watch me holding her sister, crying. urchin’s going to be so lonely… and we are all going to miss slater so much.

we don’t know what happened to her. there was no blood, her body was fully in tact. upon further investigation, we found that she has a swollen mass in her belly, and her back claws were very short and completely frayed. we have our theories; a bike hit her, she fell from a tree and was unable to flip herself around, the fleas finally got to her (she was the only one we hadn’t had a chance to spray with the anti-flea stuff… damnit). we also worry (hope) that she will turn into a zombie kitty when the last petal of the rose that brandon brought me falls. i’d say its more than a possibility. but for now, we will bury her in the yard at the hotbox or at the honeybucket, and miss her more than you can know.

god, slater. i fucking love you so much. i wish you were here, sleeping on the pillow above my head or plopping down on my chest, leaving me just enough room to breath. i’d give up that breathing room to have you here with me now. i’m going to miss you so much… we all will.

mom.

like every year since i was born, spring comes around and once again its my birthday! may 23rd… what a day to be born, huh? anywho, this year was exceptionally special. nope, it wasn’t my golden birthday (i’m not that old), but on that fateful day this may, i turned the ripe old age of twenty-one. that’s right… i was finally able to taste my first drink of alcohol. i’ve been saving myself. i mean, its illegal to under-age drink. and i’d NEVER do something that my government told me was wrong. that’s my story and i’m stickin’ to it.

anyways… some really awesome stuff happened for this birthday. i did not have a party with condoms in the gift bags, but i guess that can’t happen every year. since last august when we all moved into the hotbox, we’ve been discussing and planning for a hotbox 80s bash in the spring. it just seemed natural to link it up with my birthday party (ya know, ’cause i was born in the 80s). plus, i got to go out to the bars… and to top it all off NATASHA DAWN STEVENS came out to seattle to help me celebrate. my best friend in the whole world… and she was here to watch me get wasted, make out with girls, and cry with me when we got in a fight. oh geez, tannah.

so on the saturday before my birthday (may 19th), tasha arrived in the afternoon and by sundown we were ready to party down 80s style with some big hair, cuff bracelets, 4 kegs of cheap beer, and 9 hours (thats right, NINE hours) of tunes straight from the 1980s. that night was crazy… of course we all got completely wasted, playing beer pong and taking shots of tequila with mere and you know who. there had to be hundreds of people at the hotbox (or at least thats what it looked like) including some special guest appearances made by faraz, cousin andrew, and jesus. i also met this really awesome girl named Claire from england. now for those of you who dont know, i love the british… and i’ve always said that i wanted to be british when i grew up. and just chatting it up with her reaffirmed my love for those silly brits. oh, and also, jalyn b(r)ought me a really pretty bowl… it has a little blue frog on it and its super cute. so THANX j-dawg.

THEN on to continue my birthday celebration, on tuesday night at midnight we (me, eli, mere, tasha, marie, burton, britt, bookis, rhino, brandon, tyler, and drew) went out to kate’s, a bar up the street from the hotbox and got wasted. people kept buying me shots and by the end, brandon was trying to force me to take “just ONE more shot” for a good 20 minutes but i just couldn’t do it… oh, and i made out with bookis (hehe). luckily i wasn’t too hung over the next morning and was able to go out to breaky with tash and broph, play some disc golf in the springtime sun, and talk to a million people on the phone. after a couple more nights at the bars, i was ready to get out of seattle.

so on friday afternoon, we headed up to mt. rainier and my uncle’s cabin. tasha and brandon and i drove up in the afternoon and did some hiking around, fire building, Sorry playing, hotdog roasting, and beer drinking until the boys (eli, drew, and ty) got there at like 9 o’clock. it was great fun, just chillin out, drinking all night long. s’mores and TONS of junk food… made me want to puke, but it was totally worth it. it was really nice to get out of the city and into my natural spiritual element. overall it was a great trip a la montaña.

i also got some really awesome gifts. crystal (my newest lady friend) got me a TMBG dvd, which i was totally blown away by since we had never talked about my undying love for the giants. jess got me the first season of Are You Afraid of the Dark? on dvd. britt got me this awesome kit to make a purse. marie got me Persepolis (which i have wanted to read for quite some time). tasha got me an AWESOME special about the galapagos islands on dvd. i got a new camera from my mom and dad. and my aunt is going to buy me new boots! kick ass. so all in all it was an awesome awseome birthday! it was absolutely amazing to have tasha here and to finally not have to worry about drinking and being left behind when the rest of the Box goes out to the bars. mucho amor.

so there we were. four boxeteers shopping for the 80s party at our favorite little thirft store, the sandpoint value village. now, sure, you are bound to run into a couple of strange people everytime you visit a value village, but this guy was pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty weird.

as we were sifting through the rows and rows of shoulder-padded jackets and high-waisted cargo shorts, marie informed us that burton was willing to wear a ridiculous speedo if we found one for him. so of course morgen and i rush off to the male swimsuit section to take a look at the selection. on our way there, we were discussing the word “ish” and how only people in the midwest (specifically minnesota) can understand the significance of this word. [ex. "oh, ish! i'm not going to eat that!"] as we were passing the jeans isle, a 20 something guy says “did you guys say minnesota?” and proceeds to name drop a bunch of towns in minnesota and shit about the vikes and whatnot. okay we get it… you’re from minnesota. we laugh awkwardly and then the dynamic of our relationship with this guy took a strange turn. he immediately started talking to us like we were old, dear friends. “hey. do these jeans look good? do you think they are too expensive?” we were polite and gave him advice about the jeans but then he got exponentially weirder. he licked two fingers on his hand and wiped morgen’s face with them, as if he were getting a smudge off or something. a very intimate thing. morgen barely lets me touch her arm, let alone essentially spit on her face, and we’re more than just friends if you know what i mean. with morgen’s very visible, unapproving reaction to this, we quickly walked away, trying to hold in our laughs and freaked out shrieks of “what the hells” and other such phrases until he was out of earshot. and then we let it all out…

and the worst part is… we didn’t even find a speedo for burton. what a waste of a day, huh?

oh the kittens sure have been through alot lately. first of all, after several unsuccessful tries at getting them spayed, they finally got those little kitty ovaries taken out. although in the end it worked out just fine, there were several bumps and forced detours to the finish line. on the early morning of their appointment, britt and i took a wrong, high turn and ended up way off course… but we made it there just in time, and i didn’t even cry when the lady took them away. everything was great for the first couple of days. i mean, the crazy babies were barely phased by the surgery. but then, because of the all the climbing and jumping that she does, slater’s stitches popped out and there was a large, open hole on her shaved belly. it was really pretty gross looking and made me cry everytime i looked at it. because i had class and work (and my unemployed friends are jerks and never do anything for me) bookis was totally awesome and nice enough to drive slater back to the vet to get it restitched. but slater is just a little jerk and wouldnt stop licking it… so a couple days later, back to the vet! for the next week or so, she had to wear a cone around her little kitten head and take medicine twice a day. oh man, she was so sad and cute, running into walls and getting stuck in places. oh, geez.

the point of all this nonsense was to allow the kittens to play outside. i mean, i didnt want them getting preggers out there. the last time one of my kittens got knocked up, she had to get a kitty abortion. i want the next abortion i have to pay for to be for myself… come on. so about a week ago, i set them free into the outside world, and geezus, they fucking love it. i was nervous, sure, but it makes me so happy to see them out there and rockin it. plus, rumi loves having them out there! and they are sooo good. they dont go down the second set of stairs out onto the sidewalk/street. they are making friends with the local tomcats, and they just tell us when they want to come inside. its working out beautifully. i’m so proud!

and now, the second part of the title. i know this is what you’ve all been waiting for. its nudey magazine day!! my photographer friend, chris grunder, is at a photo workshop in palm springs this week and he needed some, ya know, artsy-fartsy nude photos for his portfolio (i think this one is my favorite). and of fucking course i agreed to that shit. hah. it was actually really empowering and a lot of fun. i had been a “model” of sorts for some friends in high school, but this was obviously completely different. britt came along to distract me, and we went to this seattle-hip studio on capital hill. chris was totally professional, and it really wasnt awkward at all. i guess i assumed that it would be… but no. i’d totally do it again. if you want to check out the photos, you can click through some of chris’s favorites here. and here’s one with my face.